Great People Skills Are The Secret To Happiness
Article by Peter Murphy
Having and developing great people skills will bring you happiness in work and in your social and private life. Great people skills tend to attract people. People with great people skills are generally the first to get promoted at work; they are the ones who have good relations with the opposite sex; they are the ones who people gather around at social events and because of these factors, they are the ones who are happier with their overall life.
The number one key to having great people skills is to care about yourself, and equally important is to care for others. Caring about yourself is not about thinking of yourself first. But rather, it’s more about respecting yourself and maintaining a way of life that reflects that you care about yourself. When we care about ourselves we reflect that to others in our verbal and non-verbal behaviors. This is reflected in how we care for others. Thus, caring is a great people skill brings us happiness in itself.
Caring people treat others with kindness, rather than cruelty. Kindness can mean different things to different people. However, kindness is rooted in respect for another. This respect is demonstrated in behaviors like intently listening to the other without judgment or interruption, as an example. When we truly listen to another person we become engaged and participate in a meaningful conversation and interaction with them, aiming to developing a relationship that helps them.
One great people skill that will lead to happiness is trustworthiness. When people trust us they want to be around us because they know that they can talk to us about anything regarding their lives, knowing that what they say to us stays with us. A trustworthy person doesn’t run around telling the secrets of another, but rather keeps that information to themselves. Also, the trustworthy person doesn’t use that information against another.
Another example of a trustworthy person, but more related to honesty, is the one who finds something of value that belongs to someone else. But rather than keeping it for themselves, they do everything in their power to return the valuable to its rightful owner. When a person behaves in a trustworthy and honest manner they will most certainly experience happiness.
Reliability is another people skill that leads to happiness. Family, friends, acquaintances, and employers want to be able to rely on us, for whatever might need to be done or taken care of. Related to reliability is commitment. When happy people make a commitment they follow through with that commitment and, if for whatever reason they can’t fulfill that commitment, they take the responsibility of letting the other know. Reliability, commitment and responsibility are all interrelated and each is a great people skill that enhances one’s happiness.
The ability to connect with others is a great people skill to have. People who are able to connect with another are empathetic and that empathy is reflected in their conversational relations, both verbally and non-verbally. The body language of the person who can connect with another demonstrates an interest in the other and has patience, which is obviously seen in one’s body language. Their body language is presented in such a way that it draws the other in, rather than rejecting them.
Great people skills obviously rely on knowing the appropriate thing to say. Their language is not abusive or threatening, but rather it is insightful and caring. It takes account of what other people are feeling and thinking and reacts to them accordingly in verbal and non-verbal communication. Having great people skills is a real gift because it allows you to put other people at their ease; communication will be made so much easier that you are bound to be happier.
The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (Dale Carnegie Training)
The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (Dale Carnegie Training)
Have you ever walked away from a conversation full of doubts and insecurities? Do you feel as if you've lost a little ground after every staff meeting? Most of us are either too passive or too aggressive in our business life, and we end up never getting the support, recognition, or respect we desire.
The business leaders and trainers from Dale Carnegie Training have discovered that applying appropriate assertiveness to all your interactions is the most effective approach to creating a successful career. The 5 Essential People Skills will help you be the most positively commanding, prosperous, and inspired professional you can be. You will learn how to:
Relate to the seven major personality types
Live up to your fullest potential while achieving personal success
Create a cutting-edge business environment that delivers innovation and results
Use Carnegie's powerhouse five-part template for articulate communications that grow business
Resolve any conflict or misunderstanding by applying a handful of proven principles
Once you master these powerful skills, you will be well on your way to a new level of professional and personal achievement.
Related People Skills Products
The Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They’d Learned Sooner Reviews
The Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They'd Learned Sooner
What's the hard truth? Soft skills get little respect but will make or break your career. Master your soft skills and really get ahead at work!
Fortune 500 coach Peggy Klaus encounters individuals every day who excel at their jobs but aren't getting where they want to go. It's rarely a shortfall in technical expertise that limits their careers, but rather a shortcoming in their social, communication, and self-management behaviors. In The Hard Truth About Soft Skills Klaus delivers practical tools and techniques for mastering soft skills across the career spectrum. She shows how to:
- manage your workload
- handle the critics
- develop and promote your personal brand
- navigate office politics
- lead the troops
- and much more!
Klaus reveals why soft skills are often ignored, while bringing their importance to life in her trademark style—straightforward, humorous, and motivating. Perfect for readers at all professional stages—from those who are just starting out to seasoned executives—this book is essential reading for anyone who wants to take his or her career to the next level.
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People Skills – Movie Theater Manners
Imagine you’re in a movie theater and there is a man talking to his companion quite loudly. The person behind them leans forward and asks if they would please be quiet in the theater. The loud man then turns to his companion and states even louder, “It is amazing how rude people are nowadays!”
Was the person rude or simply asking for something they rightly should have?
Mr. Loud was obviously under the impression that asking for the courtesy of quietness while watching a movie was rude behavior because it upset the way he wanted to watch the movie.
This happens most when people are too wrapped up in themselves and their own comfort.
The person who asked Mr. Loud to be quiet wasn’t being rude, and in this somewhat less-than-courteous environment – they were being courageous. None of the other patrons spoke up – though everyone around Mr.
Loud was thinking it!
Mr. Loud was the rude one, however I have a feeling he didn’t even realize how loud he was or how far his voice carried. When it was pointed out to him, instead of simply saying, “Thank you” – or “Excuse me” and being silent, he compounded the situation by calling the courageously courteous person rude.
This is a great reminder to all of us – and especially since we don’t know sometimes how we come across or how our conversations and comforts can really be offensive or rude to others.
Now that you have a movie theater in our mind – let’s touch on a couple of other things to avoid:
1. Talking during a film – when you have to give commentary on what is happening, it not only steals from the person you’re sharing with – it steals from you hearing what is being said next. Stop this habit in theaters and meetings. Pay attention – it’s a compliment to the director and actors – or meeting facilitator. It’s also courteous to your fellow attendees.
2. Using a cell phone in a theater – this is being taken care of more and more by the facility – no service inside the building, however if you are inside at an event, any event – turn the cell phone off.
3. Feet on the seat – we’ve become a very casual society and kicking your shoes off to prop them up in front of us is such a pleasure – except for the person in that seat… keep your feet down, this is not your couch.
4. Garbage – you bought it, you ate it, take it with you to the trash bin please – this will help those people walking behind you not step in yuck and make it easier for the facility to get things ready for the next showing.
What we do and how we behave in a theater affects everyone else in that place. Being aware is the key and doing all you can to be courteous will make the experience wonderful for you and everyone else too.
Happy viewing and I’ll see you in the dark!
People Skills- The Art of Dealing With People
Article by Robert White
People Skills -The Art of Dealing With People.
The world seems to be on an ever increasing treadmill of speed, and with the introduction and prevalence of the internet, the inter – personal skills critical to the development of any business of note, seem to be disappearing fast. One of these crucial skills is the art of dealing with people.
Yes Network Marketing( both on and offline) is about developing a distribution system , but we must never lose sight of the fact that , at the base of everything , it is a peoples business; it is people who purchase the products and services we offer, and increase the size and reach of the distribution channel.
It is fair to suggest it is the people who, as individuals, are the most rounded with outstanding people skills, build and head the largest Networking organisations.
Now, many people are of the opinion they already possess good people skills, but one of the best books ever written on the subject, and one from which we can learn much is “The Art of Dealing with People” by Les Giblin.
If we can but master the art of interpersonal skills we are 95% of the way toward building a distribution organisation to any size we choose.
Yes people have different personality traits, assimilate information in alternate ways, but at the bedrock of it all, the individual who can make another feel better for their meeting is one who is truly blessed- but this is a learnable skill.
Giblin does go into some length as to the principles behind these skills and divides the book into 11 sections. Perhaps one of the best ways to summarise is to project, onto the forehead of every person we meet the letters MMFI – Make Me Feel Important.
If we can understand that each individual, in their own eyes, is the most important person on the planet, treat them in this light with respect and courtesy, then we are well on the way to mastering the art.
To some the principles of human interaction as explained by Giblin are nothing more than common sense, and this is indeed true; however, common sense really isn’t that common. We seem to be in the midst of creating a world of educated idiots- just because an individual exhibits academic skills and can wave a piece of paper testifying to this fact , in no way indicates they are also blessed with common sense.
Another of the essential skills highlighted by Giblin is that of Listening.
It is generally assumed a good salesman has to have the “gift of the gab;” in reality, the most successful and sophisticated salespeople are those who have mastered the art of listening, as an individual prefers to talk about themselves than any other subject.
By actively listening to another individual, to their language, nuances, means of delivery and sentence construction, opens them like a book to the professional.
Given time, people will tell the good listener all they need to know to “close the sale”, as the salesperson will simply repeat back to the customer all the reasons the customer has explained.
Now, library’s are full of weighty tomes on the subject of personal interaction, stretching to hundreds of pages; Giblins book, all of 40 pages, covers more than most individuals need to know ,but by mastering the principles and skills included, will not only significantly increase an individuals success, but also the influence and persuasion they can bring to bear.
People Skills – Stay Motivated!
In trying to help determine why it is we become stressed, lose motivation, and lack effort, I once asked a woman, “What is chaotic in your life”? She answered, “There is nothing in my life that causes chaos!” Then she paused for a moment and added, “Until you add people to the mix.” I laughed because she had hit the nail on the head!
The only time many of us lose our motivation is when we must deal with other people. If we didn’t have to worry about other people, there would be no stopping us, no frustration, but also no joy! The good (and bad) news is there’s no shortage of people to deal with!
Getting or not getting along with people is one of the biggest de-motivators I can think of. When someone tells us “no” it can be enough to stop all the juices flowing and kill our motivation in a moment. Without someone to care for, or share with, we lose motivation.
People are vital to our success and also a major cause of our challenges. To get past (or use to our advantage) this simple fact is how we stay motivated and engaged in life.
Following are some thoughts on this tenuous topic of motivation and how if we choose to use our noggin for something other than a place to hang a hat, we’ll be able to think past our present circumstances, we can have anything we desire!
Determine what excites you.
The dictionary defines motivation as “that which motivates; inducement; incentive.” In other words, if you don’t have a reason or an incentive, motivation is not present. If you think about what really excites you, it will help you stay motivated. This isn’t easy to do. We are bombarded in this world with images that instill discontent in us.
From the ads on television and in magazines to our peers and professional colleagues, there always seems to be something we don’t have.
The outside world can’t give us what we need. Only when asking yourself what excites you internally will you be able to develop the kind of motivation that will sustain you over time.
Second thought: Don’t pass this paragraph by and think that you know this. Knowing and doing are two entirely different things. Stop for just a minute and ask yourself right now, “What really makes me tick?” I would venture to say it has something to do with people. Watching your kids play a game, helping a customer find exactly what they need, showing a co-worker something new and watching them get it, really get it. These things quicken the spirit and bring satisfaction that can’t be described. If we put it down to the simplest form, it would be this. Most people get excited by what they can contribute that will impact and benefit others. Think about it, doesn’t that excite you?
Determine your goals and the reasons behind them.
Sometimes we set a sales goal or even a weight loss goal without really understanding why. If you want to increase your sales over last year to send your kids to school, or lose ten pounds because you have a reunion coming up, it’s a whole lot easier to maintain motivation. Note that both of these goals involve people. The goal to send your kids to school is something that can truly motivate. The goal to impress your high school classmates twenty years later can be equally motivating, but will be hollow at the end since as we mature we realize that what we think about ourselves is far more pivotal for success than what others think of us.
If we really analyzed our goals, I think we’d all find that the goals that are directly linked to making life better for others (and hence us) are the ones we accomplish. Many times we set unrealistic goals or lose track of their importance. Our motivation then suffers since we need something to get excited about.
Reminders always work.
It doesn’t take but one glance at a school photo before some parents are instantly reminded why they put in a little extra work. Sometimes it’s the financial rewards. Nothing feels better than a glance at a hefty balance in the checkbook to remind you how much fun it is to do well. I know when I have extra money I can do more gift giving, spend more time with people I love, and learn new things. What great reasons to increase that bank balance.
Leaving reminders in places where you can see them works to keep you motivated because they bring the feelings of excitement and reasons to the front of your mind. Print out a word that triggers excitement for you, place a number above the computer screen to glance at throughout the day or tape a picture to the phone so you never lose sight of why you’re living the way you are. Also, enlist another person to share the success of your goals with. By having other people involved the success is sweeter and the down times can be ways to connect even deeper. Goals can be hollow if the only person who cares if you attain them is you. When you share your life in these ways, it will be richer and more fulfilling. Plus, you will stay motivated.
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts Reviews
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts
A wall of silent resentment shuts you off from someone you love....You listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other....Your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you.... People Skills is a communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations.
People Skills will show you
* How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques
* How body language often speaks louder than words
* How to use silence as a valuable communication tool
* How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments
Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.